Article by Jan Hamilton
OVERCOMING BREAKS IN COMMUNICATION
Everybody at some time experiences some sort of break in communication. In this issue of Kenja Voice we get to the heart of communication breaks.
What is a communication break?
A communication break is a loss of affinity, and affinity is defined as the sharing of space. If I am communicating to someone, before I do anything else, it is important to be aware of or 'share' the space we both occupy. That means extending your consciousness from just around your body, to also include the person you are communicating with. It is an investment in the communication rather than just relying on the words. When you extend your consciousness over both bodies, communication gets really exciting and effective. Then each person knows how the other is feeling, not just what they are saying. This is where understanding comes from – the ability to experience another person’s viewpoint.
When a person has a communication break, their level of affinity reduces. Possibly they've been offended or insulted. Often at this point they make a judgement about something being right or wrong, good or bad and this significance affects the openness of the situation. Either way, they reduce their space. At this point, a person's consciousness reduces to around only their body or mind. If they lose affinity, they've lost a basic premise of being able to understand another person on a subtle level.
So therefore before I do anything else, I share the space. It becomes second nature after you practice it for a while. Young children do it naturally, until too many communication breaks with people or the physical universe have occurred, and their awareness of space reduces. Unfortunately, they're then missing the most important factor in communication.
So all communication breaks lead to a reduction in space and therefore a reduction in consciousness?
Yes. The purpose of communication is to expand awareness, personal space and consciousness. Communication breaks take us in the opposite direction. That's why it's not a good idea to sit in them too long.
So how do we address a communication break if we realise we have one? What can we do to re-establish our communication?
The first thing is to be aware that a break has occurred, and then you can do something to correct it. Because you are the one who's had the communication break it is up to you to fix it – to accept responsibility for the situation and make a change.
There's an old saying that if you admit you're in the wrong you'll always be in the right. Not blaming someone else for a situation is a real key to being cause. So instead of waiting for someone else to apologise, take responsibility yourself. Create an awareness of the space around the two people again – that will re-establish affinity. This affinity will help you let go of any viewpoints that contributed to a communication break from your side and you will be in communication again.
The Energy Conversion meditation we do at Kenja is a practical tool for overcoming communication breaks. In doing this meditation, people find they are able to experience the energy that is the glue of the communication break. Once they release the energy, they arrive at the considerations they made at the time, and the communication break is finished. It is a very effective way to get back all that attention that has been tied up in the past.
Do all communication breaks relate to another person? Can you have a communication break with a physical object or a place?
Communication breaks can happen with people, places, activities and even inanimate objects. It always comes down to blaming something else for something that happened, or did not happen to you.
I fell off my bike when I was fifteen and it took some time for me to ride it again. That was a communication break, and it is here that the reduction of our consciousness of the physical universe begins. We begin to withdraw our consciousness of space when we have communication breaks. It is here that we start to lose our grasp on cause and self-determinism.
Does the human have communication breaks or is it just a spiritual issue?
Well the human is a spirit so it's both. Yes of course you can see a human upset, you can see a baby really upset but the human will naturally go through it, it will experience and share with you the pain it is feeling over what it considers was your atrocity. And then it will just naturally reach out again. Children do that, they do it naturally. They instinctively fix up a communication breaks. That's also why they get happy so quickly again.
So would the human be likely to fix a communication break more quickly than we would as spirits?
It depends on our consciousness, on how quick we are to change. It depends on where we are at as a spirit.
I mean spiritually, you can't have a communication break if you are in the spiritual universe: A communication break is a physical occurrence. It is not a natural state of existence. If you have a communication break and don't fix it up, it becomes a wall. A wall to keep other people and their communication out because it causes you pain, but unfortunately also a wall that keeps you in, keeps you limited. This is a common situation; most people find that these walls prevent the kind of open communication that establishes strong and lasting friendships and relationships based on a consciousness of love.
If we all took personal responsibility for having no communication breaks in our life, what kind of life would we have and what kind of world would we live in?
If you did that you would be cause over your level of communication. You would be a rare person indeed. Instead of having communication breaks, you would simply choose what communication you wanted to receive, and what communication you did not want to receive: You don't have to communicate or receive any communication that you do not choose to. This would dramatically reduce the effort in your life.
If enough people did that, what would happen?
If people did not sit in communication breaks, everybody would acknowledge the viewpoints of others. They might not necessarily agree with what is being communicated, but the viewpoints would be listened to. When this happens, a natural balance always seems to occur. It is only when we stop listening to each other that the problems start.
There would also be more understanding. It goes to the essence of maintaining communication, which means receiving and understanding and sharing viewpoints with other people.
Jan, thank you for today's interview.