Article by Ken Dyers
EXCERPTS FROM A CLASS
Excerpts from a class given by Ken Dyers, 10th April 2002
Looking above you for inspiration
Everyone is interested in life. You only have a short time on this planet. I was born in 1922 – it was a bit before the Depression, things were tough then – but it only seems like yesterday.
One thing it did teach me, when I was very young, was not to look around me for inspiration. My family was an ordinary family, but outside of that I was around cattle and horses, and I saw a lot of cruelty. I was 14 when the consideration hit me, “Don’t look around you for inspiration, look above you”. From then on I always did. So I never became cranky towards people, because I never expected them to inspire me, I just accepted them as they were.
However, I did look above me for inspiration. That led me to all sorts of different realities, in order to find out what ‘above me’ meant. I went to Sunday school as a child. There were no churches there when I was young, there was just a little shed in which we had Sunday school with the Sunday school teacher. Each week we were given a little text. The only one I remember had a small bluebird on it, on a branch, and it said “God is Love”. I never forgot it. That stuck with me all my life.
When I see this mother sharing with us her newly born child tonight, I see a little bit of what I was looking for. What is here is not somebody who is in love with love – not someone who is playing with love – but somebody who loves unconditionally. They are not looking for something back, they are just enjoying loving, they appreciate the ability to love. Not that they now can make a trade: “I’ll love you if you love me”. That is not love. That is a trade, that is a deal. I see here with that mother and child the joy of loving and the privilege of being able to love. Then I realise how powerful that is: that you do not expect anything back. So when you do get something back, it is always a surprise, so your whole life is full of surprises. If you just love and there are no deals, your win is in the ability to love.
Why we lose the consciousness of ‘unconditional love’
Most people lose that ability when they are very young. A little child loves – unconditionally and completely. Then suddenly somebody does not receive it. They brush them aside as if it is not important. They think “It’s just a little kid’s love”. Their love is rejected and the child gets terribly hurt. Sometimes we forget what it is like when you are a child. So the child says “I’ll love again, but not so much”. And they do love again, but not quite so much. Then they get hurt again, and their love is rejected again. So their capacity to love keeps reducing as they grow up, because it is not appreciated. In the end they cannot love. They have associated love with pain. When they have established a connection – unconsciously – between love and pain, they stop loving and instead they are looking for someone to love them.
Needing someone to love you
Without this condition of life existing in our society – where someone is looking for someone to love them – all the women’s magazines would go broke because they are telling women how to make somebody love them. “Love me. Aren’t I beautiful? Haven’t I got a beautiful body? Look at my hair, it’s got that special stuff in it; look at my body; look at my skin”. So what they are saying is, “I have to find somebody to love me”, because they cannot love any more. They have lost the ability to love and are looking for somebody to love them. Have you ever fallen into that trap?
Love and the inner child
Love belongs to the childlike part of the individual. This childlike part, or ‘inner child’, of the individual can be deeply suppressed. Yet it is this ‘child’, the one that ‘loved unconditionally’, that is the part of us that loves. If these ‘inner child’ responses have been suppressed, to a degree where one could say these responses are ‘not there’, then there is no love. You can be a really intelligent person, you can be a genius, but if you suppress the inner child you do not know what love is. The only way you will ever learn about love is through the child in yourself. This is the only source of love. I call this ‘inner child’ the human spirit.
The human spirit
My inner child is very strong. It loves a lot. I do not protect it. I let it come out and get hurt, and then I will fix it up – and so it gets stronger. And if it gets hurt again I will I fix it up again. If I protect it from getting hurt, it will remain weak.
Being vulnerable is the path to becoming strong. Yet we avoid that, don’t we? We do not want to be vulnerable. So you go through the process of rehabilitating that ‘inner child’, and making it part of your responses to your environment, and you emerge as a strong, independent and loving individual.
If the child in you has been suppressed, you have probably lost the capacity to love.
Thank the Lord for that child in you because that stops you from doing some really stupid things which you’ll never forgive yourself for. Am I getting through to you how important the child is? The part of you that loves is the child.
The ability to love is part of successful living. It is a part of relating to each other and sharing with each other.
To ignore one’s inner child is to cut oneself off from the happiness and success that the inner child’s viewpoint of unconditional love brings to our lives.
Our friend Ken Dyers passed away on 25th July 2007. This was a tragedy.
At 85, Ken had established a unique approach to the human condition and achieving success in life, by understanding the subtle energy of communication.
His meditation technique of Energy Conversion empowers the individual to address areas of negative thought about themselves and their life and so achieve success.
His wisdom and compassion created an organisation in which people could grow without fear or judgment.
We call that place Kenja.
Five years on Kenja is growing with the certainty, wisdom and stillness that Energy Conversion gives us. In August we celebrate Kenja’s official 30 year anniversary